Do I have to write a New Years post?

Probably not, but I will anyways.

Remaining true to my style, I have absolutely no recollection of my resolutions last year. I definitely didn't write about it.

I have a love/hate relationship with resolutions. Being the constant dreamer, they are quite enchanting. I simply make a decision to change and, because a new page has been turned on the calendar, it simply cannot possibly go wrong. I used to go for the gold. Why limit myself to petty goals when I could reinvent who I am?

Then I realized that I pretty much always forgot about them by the time the month of January was done. That seems to be true of lots of people, not just me. Regardless, I've been thinking of a few changes that I'd like to make in my life (I always am), but I've also been thinking of how best to implement them. It's hardly an original idea, but it's taken me quite some time to actually understand and believe that small steps are the key to success. That means that I'm not about to announce my plan to go to the gym twice daily and write to my grandparents every month. I do want to put a few things down in writing, and January 1st is a convenient way to give a concrete start to these goals.

Without further ado, I present to you my top five resolutions for the New Year. As of now, I have only thought of one, the rest will be spontaneous.

1. Spend less money - I wrote about it recently and it remains true, I need to slow down. How? Well, I definitely don't need any more clothes. I will readily admit that I'm vain and the whole point is NOT to take drastic measures, so I won't swear off buying clothes. I would like to go back to my thrift store roots a little more and will try to avoid putting myself in situations where I get that urge to splurge (Trust me, I did not see that rhyme coming. Honest). I also want to stop eating out just because I'm too lazy to prepare food for myself. I pretty much never packed a lunch for the days that I spent on campus this past term. Not only did it cost more, I also didn't eat much of a lunch and I ended up losing a few pounds. I only weigh 130lbs. I can't afford to lose any weight.

2. Eat better - I suppose that makes this resolution a logical one. I came into the term with grand plans of mastering the culinary arts. How foolish of me. I just need to eat more and have a little more variety. The grocery store is one place where I will allow myself to spend more, not less. But not frivolously.

3. Be active - I think this is possibly the most generic resolution possible. Who hasn't wanted to be healthier? This last term I signed up for a bunch of intramural sports and only went to one or two games for each (with the exception of curling). My plan? Sign up for just one (probably dodgeball) in addition to curling. Also, go snowboarding as much as possible with Dave, go longboarding as much as the weather will permit (I think this one's a given), go climbing once or twice and do pushups and sit ups a few times a week. I don't know if running is going to work anymore.

Dang, I'm grasping at straws already and I still have two to go.

4. Listen to music from my youth - I often forget how I've come to the place where I am right now. I'm not always sure that I like the person I've become but I can't remember who I used to be. Listening to MxPx is a surprisingly good way to get in touch with my roots and takes me back to happy days.

5. Go camping - This is necessary, but it seems increasingly difficult to find time and energy to do this. I guess that's why it's so important to do it in the first place. Plus, my parents gave me a sweet camping stove and cook set and I really want to use them.

There you go. 2008 will be different, not because I made these goals, but because it is a given. I just want to give some direction to the differences. And now I will leave you with something that I apparently said on my old blog two years ago:

"Remember, every day is new, the whole year long."

Damn, I'm good. Love you all!

Who the fuck cares?

The idea of writing an essay on swearing has been sitting in the back of my mind for over a year now and this will probably turn out to be less sensational and spectacular than I had envisioned. Such is life.

I was a good kid growing up. And by good I mean really well behaved. You could even say I was a "goody two shoes". That's changed quite a bit now (This was mostly my idea). Anyways, the thought of getting in trouble was always terrifying for me and I knew that swearing was a big no no. I can still remember the first time I dropped a proverbial "f bomb". I had to play goalie for soccer at recess, which was something that I never did, and I let in a goal. I was heartbroken (I don't know what I was expecting, I wasn't very good) and my friend Joel was laughing at me. He was trying to cheer me up but it wasn't working, so I told him, "I don't play fucking goalie". And that was it. My pure little mouth was tarnished forever.

Fast forward to now and it's quite a different story. I mean, I watch my language pretty well, but sometimes "gosh darn-it" just doesn't cut it. But the number one factor in my word choice is the people that I'm with. Some might call this dishonest and tell me that I'm somehow "lying" if I'm intentionally being a different person, but I don't think so. I'm just being courteous. I would hardly say that swearing is a vital part of who I am, so to put that aside is not really a big deal.

What's wrong with swearing? I don't know and it's something that I've been wondering about for awhile. Obviously certain words have vulgar meanings, but that holds true of many words that people use on a day to day basis. Shit means the same thing as poop or feces, so why is it that I'll never hear that word coming from certain mouths? One topic that has captured my attention in school in the last year or so is language theory. Basically, how words develop their meanings, etc. It's pretty lofty, abstract stuff, but I enjoy it. Essentially, in my opinion, word meaning are totally subjective. From the moment you are born, you start associating the sounds that you hear with whatever is going on around you at that time. This leads people to have more or less the same understandings of words, but allows for some discrepancy. If my parents told me to go take a shit every time they wanted me to go to the bathroom it's not likely that I would have any negative connotations associated with that word. It's not like swear words are inherently bad.

This leads me to thinking that for some people, swearing actually does feel violent because it just IS. It's the way that they've grown up. For others, it's not a big deal. So I don't scorn people who get all uptight and uncomfortable when choice words are being dropped, just as I don't think people who do swear are children of the devil. Everyone's different and I'm cool with that. Peace out, bitches!

BTW, If you're in the crowd that hasn't ever heard me swear, don't come away from this thinking that I cuss a blue streak anytime you're not around. I don't.

New feed

Now that it's the holidays and I have my own domain, I have been geeking out HARD. Pretty much all day. Anyways, if you subscribe (I don't imagine there are many that do), you should update your feed URL to http://feeds.hey-just.us/justusz

Just so you know. Have a nice day!

JZ

PS: I've got a few new posts in the works, stay tuned.

Mo money, mo problems

I do realize that I said I would be writing about either girls or swearing next, but something else has been on my mind lately. Actually, girls are always on my mind but I need to get this out of brain and onto the page before females reclaim that brain space. I've been a little bit stressed about my spending habits lately.

I used to be really good at saving my allowance when I was a kid. To go a few months without spending a penny just so that I could buy a discman in grade 7 was no big deal. Something would catch my eye, I would sit on the decision for awhile, do my research and then start saving until I could afford it. I still have the same stereo system that I bought in grade 8 and it continues to serve me well.

These days, my taste for quality products has not changed but my self restraint has diminished. A lot. It becomes a problem when you buy nice things and you buy lots of things. It doesn't help that the Saskatchewan Student Loan program deposits a large lump sum in my account at the beginning of every year. I think student loans are the biggest factor in my shift in spending patterns. I never had large sums of money at my disposal before and I couldn't resist making use of them. It may seem surprising then, that I haven't landed myself in financial trouble yet, but when the money runs out, I just stop spending. When I have, I spend and when I don't, I don't. Maybe I just don't value money as much as others, but it doesn't exactly bother me when I can't spend money, I just get a little more creative. And that's a good thing.

One of my classmates in my course on French film did a presentation on a film about gleaners in France the other day. They're essentially people whose lifestyle revolves around the fact that they survive on the excesses of society, scavenging the leftover fruits of harvest and reducing the amount of product that goes directly to waste without ever being used. It really was inspirational to me and not a day goes by that I don't see something awesome that someone fashioned out of trash.

I've spent enough. It stresses me out sometimes, all the transactions that take place in my life and I'm not sure why. It just seems a little unnatural at times.

Moving from Saskatchewan to Ontario, I couldn't exactly bring any furniture with me. Because of that, my room has been a little cluttered and I figured a trip to Ikea for some semi-cheap, semi-stylish furniture was in order. Instead, I've been stealing empty milk crates from behind Dairy Queen on a regular basis as well as some scrap lumber and a display rack that I found outside a local retail store. It's not much, but it's a start.

Things To Do

It's time to move this off of the main page.

About

• Build up a tolerance for Sweet & Sour Rice for the next camping trip



• Buy the new Stars album - Incomplete



• Cheer on Joel at soccer... or something - Complete



• Create everyday



• Do 43 jumping jacks



• Don't work as much - Complete



• Figure out how to make Disco Lemonade



• Film a short documentary about each of the Zimmerlys



• Find a way to get to Vancouver to visit August - Complete



• Frolick or stroll in a field - Complete



• Give Jordon a hug - Complete



• Go barefoot - Complete



• Go longboarding - Complete



• Go on a long and contemplative walk - Complete



• Go see Feist - Complete



• Go to the East coast with Brent and drink beer with some Newfies



• Graffiti



• Have a talent show



• In every activity, remember to do things Rick Page-style



• Jump over something - Complete



• Kidnap Joel and go camping



• Make a longboard - Complete



• Make a movie - Complete



• Make a Rick Page video



• Make art



• Make faces in the mirror



• Make S'mores - Complete



• Make/get a good ice cream float - Complete



• Map out an adventure and then see it through



• People watch (but not as a first date)



• Plant and water a flower - Complete



• Play soccer - Complete



• Pound it with someone at least 3x a week - Complete



• Read a good book - Complete



• Remind your family you love them - Complete



• Rock out to the Shady J's - Complete



• Scream like a ninny



• Send Kathleen and Sarah sweet mixtapes/CDs to rock out to while arts and crafting/guarding lives at Merrywood



• Send Kathleen, Sarah and August some lovin' in the form of email, letter, postcard, phone, visit or all of the above - Complete



• Sing in the rain - Complete



• Solo dance party



• Spend time outside - Complete



• Start a zine



• Take a nap outside - Complete



• Take pictures - Complete



• Think hard about the question "how can one man silence 1000 grapefruits within moments of opening his mouth?"



• Try to grow a full beard - Incomplete

My name is Justus and I have a problem

Ever since I was a young boy, I’ve been a little bit obsessive. Or maybe more than just a little bit. Passion was just something that coursed through my veins and I am no different now. What the hell am I talking about? My lack of ability to sustain interest in one activity or issue for a prolonged period of time.

Some people know from a very young age what they want to be when they grow up. I changed my mind every 4 or 5 months. Now you’re probably thinking that sounds fairly normal. But you didn’t know me. For example, I went through an “Ancient Roman” phase. During those months, I proceeded to sign out every book in the library on the topic as well as order books from other libraries in the area. I probably read each one twice. I also made plans to become a historian and specialize in the field. At recess time, I made all of my friends play Greeks vs. Romans (not sure how I managed that as I wasn’t a very commanding child). I still have plans for a scale model of the ancient city of Rome. Guess what I was for Halloween? Yes, I was a Roman centurion. And then overnight I lost interest. I would pour so much time and energy into this one thing and be devoted to it so whole-heartedly that I wound up running it into the ground. I still do the same thing.

Since taking up longboarding, I have logged a ridiculous number of hours on Internet forums, learning about the nuances of the equipment and mastering the terminology. I haven’t killed this one for myself yet. At the end of every term I contemplate switching programs or starting over altogether. A pretty girl waltzes past and suddenly I can’t seem to think of anything else for the next month until I finally just forget about her. It’s just the way I function. Take a look at my blogs! I started The Not-So-Daily Herald on a whim and then got hooked. A few months later it was beginning to really live up to it’s name and it eventually began collecting dust. Fast forward a few more months and I decide to start again with this blog. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

If I’ve learned one thing from the Existential authors in my French literature class (which I haven’t, I’ve actually learned quite a few things), it’s that you are completely and entirely free. Free to do what you want and therefore totally responsible for your actions. I can’t say or do something because “that’s just the way I am” or “that’s how I’ve always been”. My identity is not static; I am transforming who I am with every action I take. I guess what I’m trying to say is “no more bullshit excuses”. I’m also trying to say that I’m not giving up on this blog. Not yet. I have plenty to say and no reason to keep my mouth shut.

If this feels like a “re-inventing myself, watch out world” kind of post, it kind of is. But only kind of. Because every time I find a new passion I try to reinvent myself. We’re trying to break the cycle here, not perpetuate it. Which is why I won’t make some ridiculous, “I’m going to post everyday” promise. Instead, I’m going to say something when I feel I have something to say. I have my tumblog for all that other stuff.

What should I write about next, girls or swearing?

Tumbling through (cyber)space

I'm not giving up on this blog just yet, but I usually feel like I don't have much to say. Right now I'm playing around with Tumblr and it seems to be more suited to my style of blogging (ie: posting videos, photos, links and quick notes) so check it out here: Z!MMERLY